Helping your child through the Australian bushfires.
- Breanna Jayne
- Jan 4, 2020
- 6 min read
Updated: Jan 5, 2020
By Breanna Jayne Sada
As I write this I am saddened by what is happening to our great country. Each morning I wake up to see my social media and TV channels flooded with images of burnt homes, people evacuating, injured wildlife, and mammoth flames. The rolling coverage of the fires is hard to escape, the TV, my phone and the car radio all giving regular updates about evacuation areas, concerning weather forecasts and a rising death toll. We have family on the south coast of NSW and I watch and listen for news that might involve them. I am an adult and I am worried.
This morning I saw images of children caught up in this natural disaster and my attention quickly turned to them and the millions of children and young people who are being exposed to the same smoke haze and media coverage as we are and so I sat down to write this.
The good news is that children are remarkably resilient and most who are exposed to a natural disaster such as these fires will recover with little intervention needed beyond the support and care of their guardians and family. Some children may be impacted by the fires directly, having lost their homes and loved ones, some children will have been evacuated, while for other children they may be impacted by smoke and ash or hearing about friends and families frightening experiences. We also know that witnessing the news stories that include loss of life and troubling images can have a distressing impact on viewers and in some cases people will have traumatic reactions to this. All experiences are valid and a reaction to any of these differing experiences is possible and real.
Common reactions of children impacted by the fires:
Reactions of children exposed to the trauma of a natural disasters like the bushfires may appear immediately after the event or may develop in the weeks following the event. Therefore it is important to monitor your child’s mood, sleeping patterns, appetite and behaviour for some time. For many children they will not have a concerning reaction and bounce back relatively quickly.
- Common reactions that may indicate your child has been impacted include; sleep disturbances, nightmares, loss or increase in appetite, clinginess to parental figures, withdrawal and loss of interest in usually pleasurable activities, significant changes in mood and physical complaints.
- Regressive behaviours can be common, these are things that we would have expected the child to have “grown out of” for their age for example older children might start sucking their thumb or wetting the bed.
- Distress at the site or thought of anything that might remind them of the experience. Avoidance of areas or triggers that remind them of the fires may also transpire.
- In older children and young people, feelings of guilt for not being able to do more may arise. As may flashbacks or avoiding anything that may remind them of the experience. Agitation and irritability may increase following these events. Young people may start acting out or rebelling but it is just as likely that they withdraw from peers and find it hard to separate from family members.
- Despite being physically safe it is not uncommon from children and young people to continue to feel unsafe, anxious or worried for some time following exposure to a natural disaster.
If you are concerned about the intensity, severity or duration of your child’s reaction you should seek advice from your medical professional.
Things you can do to help support your child:
- Validate and normalise the child’s experience of distress and emotion. This means letting the child know it is okay and normal that they are feeling however they are feeling. Try not to minimise your child’s experience. Even if you think they personally haven’t been exposed to something upsetting their perception is different to yours and dismissing their emotions may cause them to withdraw from you.
- Remind them that they are safe. Often anxiety will arise about their own safety or the safety of people they love. Reminding them that they and their loved ones are safe, are getting help and are listening to the advice of professionals can be comforting. Letting your child know about the many people helping during the fires can also be good for them.
- Provide an environment where they feel safe and supported that they can ask questions but do not force the child or young person to talk about anything they aren’t ready to talk about. You can do this by simply being available for your child or young person and you might repeat things like “If you want to talk about anything or have any questions you can come and ask me when you want to”.
- Use age appropriate language to discuss what is happening and to answer any questions. It is not okay to lie when they ask questions you can say “I don’t know” if you feel uncomfortable answering questions but lying about information may add to their anxiety later when they are looking for safety and stability, knowing a loved one has lied may mean they do not turn to them for future support.
- Be prepared to repeat yourself, asking the same questions repeatedly may be reassuring for a child who is anxious or trying to understand.
- The media is an important means of circulating information during a natural disaster like these fires Australia is experiencing. It is a source of information about where is safe and not safe, what help is available and how to access it. Children like adults can become engrossed with this coverage and spend too much time listening, reading or watching and may even start to seek out coverage. The media also tends to focus on the most frightening and shocking aspects, which can cause distress to viewers. Adults caring for young people can limit the amount of media (TV or internet) that your child or young person is exposed to about the fires. If they are watching something make sure you are with them so you are able to answer any questions they have and monitor their reactions to what they are seeing and hearing.
- Providing stability and routine as much as possible. This may be in the form of regular bed times and meal times. Attending family or sporting commitments. When school goes back attending school when it is safe to do so. If routine has been disrupted for example you may have been evacuated from your home letting the children know what is going to happen ahead of time is encouraged.
- We know that helplessness increases the risk of a traumatic reaction so giving a child choice where possible can be a way of mitigating this risk. For example; letting them pack a few items to take if you do need to leave the home or letting them pick a happy movie for the family to watch after hearing an upsetting news story.
- Encourage helpful coping strategies. When distressed we can encourage children to utilize their strengths and take a step back from their distressing thoughts and feelings. We can help them to find ways to reduce their worries and relax.
- Finally if you seem anxious it can reinforce children’s thoughts and feelings about their current environment being unsafe and that they are in fact in danger. Keeping calm and being a positive role model can be hard especially when you too are experiencing and witnessing these traumatic fires. However this is such an important thing for your child to see, and a great source of stability and reassurance for them. Take the time to look after yourself and process how you are feeling. Engage with your supports and monitor yourself for your own response. If you are feeling overwhelmed talk with your family, friends or a professional.
When to get professional help
Professional support can be sought from your local GP, school counsellor and mental health professionals like psychologists. There are also online services and information where parents and guardians can get more information like Youth Disaster Recovery and Headspace and hotlines that you can speak to if seeking support like ParentLine 1300 1300 52 (NSW, state specific numbers).
If your child is exhibiting concerning thoughts, feelings or behaviours 4-6 weeks after the experience then it is recommended that you involve a professional in their recovery. You should seek help immediately for your child if you think that they are in danger for example from self-harm or suicidal thoughts or if they develop other severe reactions.
If anything in this article has made you distressed or concerned you can contact Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 or Life Line on 13 11 14.
References and for more information;
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